The Truth
by sneauxfo
Summary: Noah raped Rex. Bobo and Circe embark to discover THE TRUTH. And attempt to be more important! Cracky satire, ahoy!


**Title-** The Truth

**Warning(s)-** snark XD

**Summary-** Noah raped Rex. Bobo and Circe embark to discover THE TRUTH. And attempt to be more important! Cracky satire, ahoy!

* * *

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It all started when Rex ran, crying, over to Noah.

"Noah! DUDE!" Rex wailed as blood dripped down his thighs. "What insanity drove you to rape me? I mean _seriously_!"

"Rape?" Noah dropped the basketball he was holding. "I- Well- Kohl's sale- You wanted it!"

"Um, except not! I kept saying 'no'!"

"Oh, I thought you were saying 'No-ah'."

"I was saying 'No!' 'Ah!'"

"Well, crap." At the look Rex gave him, Noah immediately threw himself to the ground in orz. "Uh, I mean, _good lord, what have I done_?"

WILL THEIR FRIENDSHIP EVER BE REPAIRED?

CUZ I DON'T THINK SO, YOU GUYS.

D:

OH, NO…

So then, Noah drove Rex back to Providence base, since he thought it was the least he could do after accidentally raping him. Unfortunately for Noah, rape is rape, and everyone was still pretty pissed off. And everyone at Base knew what had happened because on arrival, Rex had run around through the halls, dripping blood everywhere, sobbing at the top of his lungs "_Noah raped me, you guys!_".

"OH, _NOW_ YOU WANT MY HELP," Holiday screeched as Rex ran past her lab. "I WARNED YOU, BUT DID YOU LISTEN?"

"Noah! We thought we could trust you!" Calan exclaimed in utter disbelief. "Sam hill- we _did_ trust you! Yee-haw!"

Noah flung himself to the floor for the second time that day, overcome by shame. "I thought I could trust myself!"

Six raised an eyebrow at him. "You have disgraced the color green and all those who adorn it. I should cockslap you with my swords."

"…But, if it's with your swords-"

"Do not question the Six." The agent flicked out his swords stylishly. "The Six will question you. With my swords!"

"But-"

"NOAH!" Holiday bellowed in a wooden voice as she approached them. "WHAT DID I SAY? WHAT DID I _TELL_ YOU ABOUT RAPING REX, NOAH? NOAH, NOAH, NOAH-"

Circe grabbed Noah's arm and tried to tug him to his feet. "Noah, we should get out of here."

"We?" Noah blinked at her. "When did you even _get_ here?"

"The question should be: how come I wasn't here in the first place?"

"...What?"

Just then, Bobo burst through a wall, driving a Providence buggy. He handbrake-turned to a stop alongside the two teenagers. "Hop in! This is the only one-way out o' this joint!"

Noah and Circe quickly hopped into the jeep.

The three adults began moving in on them just as armed Providence grunts made appearance on either side of the conveniently large-enough hallway. They took aim. Holiday lunged onto the front bumper and immediately sunk her teeth into the hood. Six and Calan were barking orders to apprehend the vehicle. Facility alarms were sounding off. A unicorn leapt overhead.

Bobo shifted to reverse and gunned the engine, back out the wallholes in the building he'd previously created. Only by knocking the car against multiple walls and corners were they able to shake off Holiday, who took a chunk of the hood with her.

Ultimately, they were able to escape, leaving showy and completely unnecessary gunfire and explosions in their wake, like around the end of _Dark Passage_.

"So, what'd you two think about my accent this time around?" Calan asked Six and Holiday once they regrouped. "Or should I be more obnoxious to stress how much me and Six don't sound alike?"

Holiday spat metal at him.

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"So, did Doctor Holiday seem angry to either of you?" Circe brought up. "Like, gratuitously so? Cuz she did to me. And none of the other characters seemed to find it remarkable, so I'm just putting this out there."

"Yeah…." Bobo was eating a booger he just picked. "There's probly a _Swarm_ of Evo bugs about to rampage a city in China or something."

"Oh." She looked over to Noah who shrugged.

"I dunno, either," he confessed. "I wasn't in that ep."

"By the way," said Bobo, pointing a thumb at the blond, "what's up with you raping my boy?"

"I have no clue, either. But, you know…. Fanfiction, these days." Noah offered an good-natured shrug. "Characterization can go to subjectivity hell."

He was met with silence. Bobo and Circe glared hard at him.

He revised, "Uh. I mean. I was framed?"

"Thatta boy," said Bobo.

"We believe you, Noah," said Circe.

And Noah squirmed a bit in his seat. Awkwardly, he averted his gaze to their surroundings and blinked in recognition. "Hey. This looks like my neighborhood. Actually, I think it's safe to say that this _is_ my neighborhood."

Unbeknownst to him, Bobo and Circe locked eyes via rearview mirror. Bobo nodded. Circe rammed her shoulder into Noah, knocking the other teen out of the moving vehicle and tumbling onto a lawn.

"Sorry, Noah! But we couldn't risk being overshadowed by you!" Circe could be heard shouting as the jeep sped off. "Just trust us to prove you're not guilty!"

"Lay low for a while!" Bobo added. "Say hi to your parents for me! And take off your jacket!"

"I have parents?" Noah asked, eyebrows raised as he peeled his face off the grass. "Since when? Is that even canon?"

Back in the jeep, Circe crawled over and plopped onto the navigator seat and exchanged a fist-bump with Bobo.

"You don't think there was a better place to dump him?" Circe asked. "Like, maybe a place Providence wouldn't expect to find him."

"Should be fine," Bobo brushed off. "So long as he takes off his jacket. Since it's green. And if something's green, Six'll be able to find it. He loves that color."

"I…see."

"Anyway, it's about time I get a key role to play in a fic! Time to do something meaningful!"

"For significance!" Circe cheered.

"Significance!"

"Woo!"

"Alright!"

"Haha."

"...So."

"...Yup."

The scene ended there from lack of chemistry due to Bobo and Circe's two-dimensionality. Courtesy of MoA.

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Meanwhile, Six and Holiday went to fill their boss in on the sitch. Apparently, they hadn't yet realized how nonsensical it was that people actually took orders from him despite the fact that he was a complete dickhead to everyone. Because somehow, him not having any nanites meant that he was fully capable and qualified to head a worldwide corporation.

White Knight's voice could be heard before his image flickered to full life on the screen.

"Six, didn't I say I changed to fat free milk exclusively? Why is there two-percent in my mini-fridge- Oh, Doctor Holiday. I was just…. Bah, fuck it, don't tell anyone or your sister gets it." He raised his fist and shook it vehemently at the screen to show he meant srs bsns.

"NOO, YOU LISTEN TO ME!" Holiday screamed and punched the screen before storming out of the room, lab coat flapping dramatically behind her.

"Why are you trying to sabotage my diet, Six?" WK then asked on the now-cracked screen. "I am being serial right now. I thought we were friends."

"White," Six said.

"I knit you a scarf, I bought you a charm anklet, I comment on all your LiveJournal posts, and for what?"

"White."

WK waited a while, but Six spoke no more, so he continued. "I mean, a relationship is supposed to be between two people, but you-"

"White."

"_What_? For fuck's sake, spit it out then!"

"I'm not addressing you, you big silly marshmallow man," Six said. "I'm saying 'white' because my stunnah shades slipped a bit and since the image of you is so goddamn blinding, I can't form any other coherent thought without protective eyewear. I'd suggest donning green instead, but that's my shtick, and you need to be original and find your own thing."

"My thing is white."

"…Alright, I know we're friends, but TMI. Just because you can get away with wearing no pants doesn't mean I have to know about what you do while you're pantsless."

"HOW LEWD," Holiday raved upon return, throwing her hands into the air in a fit. "YOU JUST DON'T LISTEN."

The two men turned to acknowledge her presence as she stood rigidly with her fists clenched, breathing heavily.

After a beat, Six spoke up, "Did you have something to-"

"HOPELESS!"

Agent Wilhelm then chose that unfortunate moment to walk in, and Holiday proceeded to maul him. He screamed, making all who were in on the in-joke giggle and point.

Six shrugged to WK as human entrails were tossed into open air. "You know how she gets when a _Swarm_ of exponentially variegated insects are en route to lay waste upon a Chinese metropolis."

WK nodded solemnly. "Luckily, that only happens once a month. Though, I hear it happens less if she's on birth control, and that the flow is lighter."

"Btw, White. Rex got raped by Noah. Noah's hiding from prosecution, but I'll be able to track him down since he wears green, like me. And by God do I love that color. I. Love. Green."

"Noah's a rapist?" WK considered this information. "I guess finding him via Dating site in the first place was a bad idea after all. I figured the high compatibility between his profile and the profile I put up for Rex was too good to be true."

"We all have lapses in judgment," assured Six. "But we don't have to wear white to give off an impossibly coruscating appearance whilst doing so."

He turned and left the room just as Wilhelm screamed again.

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Circe elbowed Bobo. "Bobo. Hey. Wake up- we're back on!"

"Yeah. Hi." Bobo jerked awake with a snort. "Uh. So…. How come you're not with the Pack right now, Circe?"

"I think they're hatching another plot to off Rex and-slash-or Providence," she answered with a half-shrug. "They sent me to get furniture. We're refurbishing the castle in Abysus. ...This kind of thing happens a lot."

"Like the season finale," Bobo recalled. "What was that about?"

(-Flashback-)

_"Alright, everyone, gather round," Van Kleiss announced. "I have the grandest of grand schemes to dispose of Rex and destroy Providence once and for all, but I need one person to go restock our icecream while the rest of us are actually a part of it."_

_Biowulf, Breach, and Skalamander all side-glanced at Circe, snickering._

_"Can't you send Breach this time?" Circe groaned. "She can open portals!"_

_"But-but-" Breach sniffled. "I'm too _crazy_ to go."_

_"And I'm too slobbery," said Skalamander._

_"And I just don't want to," said Biowulf. "Beeotch."_

_"Now, now," VK said patiently. "Circe is the new addition, but she has been a member of the Pack since episode four."_

_"Three," Circe corrected bitterly._

_"So we should treat her as such. I propose you all draw straws." He held out a fist with four straws clutched in it. "Whoever draws the shortest has icecream duty. Now draw."_

_Each of his disciples reached out and took one straw each. Circe ended up with the short one. When she looked over at the others, they were all shaking hands and patting each other's backs and cheering, including VK. Then they started pointing at her and laughing loudly._

_"Circe goes!" squealed Breach._

_"Fair is fair," simpered VK._

_"Oreo icecream!" hailed Skalamander._

_"Go, gopher, go!" synonym-of-say-that-expresses-joy'ed Biowulf._

_The others chimed in. "Go, gopher, go!"_

_The four of them joined hands and began dancing in a circle around her._

_"Hahaha~ Circe has to go~" they sang as they spun around and around. "Hahaha~ What a misfit~ She's always left out~ What a loser~ What an outcast~ Hahaha~"_

(-End Flashback-)

She could still hear their jeers in her ears. It was like a kick in the rear, she feared, to be laughed at by her peers.

"Yeah, why exactly are you with 'em again?" Bobo inquired, perplexed by the flashback.

"You don't understand!" Circe protested. "They're my _family_ now!"

"What kind o' family would-"

(-Flashback-)

_"Alright, everyone, gather round," five-year-old-Circe's father announced._

(-End Flashback-)

"I get it, I get it," Bobo cut in, shaking his head. "Yeesh. Humans."

"Anyway, it's not so bad," Circe went on. "When they do stuff like that, I try to sabotage them as best I can. So when they do let me help, they see that that's when they succeed! Have you noticed?"

"Oh, I just pegged VK as a fail main villain. Like, MoA just picked some hobo off the streets and threw him into the villain role and named him. And I'd believe that, too, what with the shaggy clothes and squattin' in a dilapidated castle." Bobo blinked. "Who're you texting?"

Circe didn't even look up from her phone. "All the secondary characters in the series."

"Good thinkin'! We need more heads in on this rape case."

"…Oh. Right, of course. That, too."

"And having 'em band together in effort to get us all more involved with the plot is a nifty idea, too," Bobo added knowingly.

Circe grinned, hitting the SEND button on her cell.

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"I don't know what to do or what to think," Rex sighed. "I thought Noah was my friend. I _still_ want to be his friend. But our friendship just won't be the same."

"Okay. We all know you're going to forgive him in the end, because you have a good heart and all that earnest bullcrap." Onscreen, WK had his head propped up on an elbow, drumming impatiently on his desk with his other hand. "If that's all you came in to talk to me for-"

"I'll find him! We'll talk it out! We were friends before, and we can be friends after! This is just a roadbump!" Rex balled his hands into determined fists. "That's it- I'm going to Noah's."

"Actually, if you want to find Noah, your best bet would be to follow Six's signal. He's tracking him down. Since Noah wears green." WK nodded to the left and one of the wall screens in the room flickered to life, revealing Six's flashing tracker moving down streets.

"Sweet. Muchas gracias!"

"By the way, since we're having a surreal girlchat of sorts, what do you think of the new color?"

Rex offered a thumbs-up. "Sets off your eyes."

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"What do you know," Bobo said, looking on at the hoard of secondary characters that had arrived in response to Circe's mass text. "They really care about screentime."

"_You_ only have to worry about having any importance to the plot; you get plenty of screentime still. The rest of us aren't so lucky," Circe pointed out. She turned to address the crowd. "Thank you all for showing up in, like, less than a minute! We all want the same thing here, so let's get started with making it happen. My plan is to send our plight straight to the source: MoA! In order to catch their attention, we'll be using-"

"A bombthreat?" suggested the waiter from _Operation: Wingman_.

"A rabble?" suggested Tuck.

"A petition!" Circe finally revealed, holding out a pen and parchment.

"You mean those things that officials don't even pay attention to until people start rabbling?"

"What the heck is going on here?" cried a police officer, lost in the mass of bodies.

Bobo spotted him and hurried ushered the others. "Yo, someone tipped the feds! Sign the damn thing now!"

Spurred into hysteria, everyone scrambled to sign the petition and Bobo watched in satisfaction as the cop was shoved and trampled upon.

"So now what?" asked Kenwyn from _Basic_ once everyone had signed.

"Now we wait," Circe answered. "And also! Since we have nothing better to do! We're trying to prove Noah didn't rape Rex."

She began to explain the situation, and people for the most part heard her out. Others began awkward small talk with one another out of boredom and apathy.

"Hi," said a beach jerk to the person beside him. "I was in _Beyond The Sea_. I might have a name, but everyone forgot about me, so it doesn't really matter at this point."

"Mine's Weaver," said Weaver from _Frostbite_. They shook hands. "Nice to meet you."

Deeper in the crowd stood Annie, the unbelievably klutzy girl. She blinked at one of the characters standing next to her. "Hey, wait a minute. Didn't you die?" She made a motion to point and ended up slapping him in the face.

"Yes," Bouvier answered, rubbing his nose. "And zis bunny, too, I zink."

The Evo bunny from _Operation: Wingman_ roared and Annie waved back in recognition.

"But remember, zis is a children's show," Bouvier continued. "It is never explicitly stated zat someone has actually _died_. Zey just stop showing up. Like Circe."

"OHHH," the crowd chorused, attention suddenly homed in on the comment. "BURN."

"Who's Circe?" asked Peter Meechum from _String Theory_.

Circe's eye twitched.

"Really, though, MoA must hate you or something," the news reporter that shows up from time to time told her. "I mean, you show up in less episodes than _me_. That is just saaad."

"Ifff I mayy asssk," No-Face from _The Forgotten_ spoke up, "howw mannyyy timesss iss thattt?"

"What an annoying and time-consuming way of speech," said Sara Meechum in awe, staring at No-Face. "No wonder the creators aren't in any rush to have you in anymore episodes."

Patient Zero from _Plague_ skipped by. "Btw- the answer to No-Face's question is three episodes."

"You hear that, everyone?" Rhodes shouted excitedly. "Just two more appearances for most of us, and we'll be on the same terms as _Circe_."

"HUZZAH!" cheered the crowd of unimportant characters.

"Who's Circe again?" asked the evil Evo girl from _Into The Breach_.

Circe facepalmed with a groan and Bobo patted her on the back sympathetically.

"Oh," said evil Evo girl. "Hi."

"That's about as many appearances as that one Providence grunt, too," Annie's friend, Claire, noted. "The black one."

Everyone looked to him.

"Well, since I have the floor, I'd like to bring up an important issue," said the aforementioned Providence grunt who had first shown up in _The Forgotten_, then had a part in _Basic_, and then had a cameo in _Badlands_.

"Hey, _Badlands_ was the episode I debuted in!" Gatlocke exclaimed smartly. He batted his eyelashes coquettishly in Rex's direction…except Rex wasn't even there. So he sighed and dejectedly drew circles in the dirt with a stick.

"Ever noticed the grunts' main portrayal has been black?" continued the pilot, everyone's attention drawn to him. "Me, the co-pilot that was stuck in the Bug Jar with me, and Kenwyn. But for some reason, all the peeps in leadership positions- for example, all the smart science folk shown in _Gravity_- were white. Hell, the head honcho of Providence is _White_ Knight."

The crowd of characters murmured in discussion of this.

He spoke again, "Now, fellow supporting cast, I ask of you: what is up with that?"

"No, what is up with black people nitpicking everything in the media?" Sqwydd quipped. "You ever think that maybe it was a coincidence? Or, gee, maybe it's actually based on real-life statistics?"

The Providence pilot's eyes narrowed. "You used to be white, didn't you?"

"Also, what's up with that awful misspelling of a name?" Hunter Cain demanded. "Do you really believe it's any cooler than if you were 'Squid' instead? How freakin' 90's, man."

Miffed, Sqwydd huffed an ink cloud at them in spite. But, being an ink cloud, it engulfed everyone.

"Goddammit, _really_ now?" cried the lost police officer.

"Wait, I have a random thought that might serve as a deus ex machina for the original problem we were supposed to solve!" declared Cricket as the ink cloud cleared. "What if Noah _hadn't_ raped Rex! What if someone framed him as the base-work of something much more sinister and intricate?"

The crowd became hushed at that.

"Uh, yeah!" Noah supported eagerly. He had wandered in, wondering why a crowd had gathered. "Let's go with that!"

He still hadn't removed his green jacket.

Bobo caught sight of him and wailed, "YOU'RE DOOMED."

"Noah, take off your jacket!" Circe exclaimed, running over to him and grabbing the article of clothing. She began trying to yank it off.

Noah yelped, resisting. "This must be exactly how Rex felt when I raped him! Bewildered and slightly turned on?"

Everyone stared at him in thick silence.

"Um." Noah awkwardly shifted his weight between his feet. "That is to say. If I had actually raped him. The way he felt when raped, regardless. You know."

"It's too late," Bobo said. "He's here."

The crowd parted, revealing Six standing not too far away.

"Are you telling me that the only reason he knew where to find me is because my jacket is green?" Noah was asking Bobo and Circe. "I knew he liked the color, but holy crap."

"I love it so much, I want to marry it," Six confirmed as he approached them. "And I have. Several times when I was a child. I conducted my own marriage ceremonies and would force the other kids on the playground to attend. Does that allow you to gauge how unhealthy my obsession for this color is?"

"Um," said Noah.

"In fact, one day, a new student transferred in. His name was Melchore Green. I roleplayed that the color had cheated on me. After that first day, no one ever saw Melchore again. But that was fine since he was a whiney little bitch who accused me of stealing his Pokemon cards. Which I hadn't. His deck was shit."

Six then committed another insignificant physical action for the convenience of the author to control the story's pacing and neaten the format by breaking up its dialogue.

"Anyway," he continued, "it's time to face the music. Holiday ran some tests and the DNA matches up. You're a rapist and you're very likely to be bludgeoned to death by one of the other inmates once you're in prison."

Noah fled.

Six immediately began pursuit. He leapt into the air, struck some awesome poses, wowing the crowd of secondary characters and giving them the impression that he was one bombass dude deserving of the title Sixth Deadliest.

But he failed to catch Noah, shattering the illusion. The intent was probably to help express how dire the situation had gotten, but the end result was just Six looking really freaking incompetent.

That's when Holiday arrived on scene.

Six called out to her, "Holiday, Noah's-"

"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO, I _KNOW_ WHAT TO DO," Holiday bellowed. "LISTEN TO ME."

With that, she flew into space, punched a skyscraper in two, modeled for a dozen magazine covers, solved global warming, made a map of the universe, and then tackled Noah to the ground by way of apprehending him.

Holiday's unnamed spidey sis roared once and stomped her spidery legs. The translating subtitles would read as "And that's MY sister, yo. Wha-BAM."

"Isn't it great and not overwhelmingly manipulative at all how much the show's creators want the viewers to find this woman absolutely lovable and kickass?" chortled Master Chief from _Basic_.

"Yeah, I guess that explains where everyone else's screentime and importance went," concurred the naked man from the first episode whom Rex cured and then unwillingly got hugged by.

"Speaking of which!" shouted out Jacob from _The Architect_. "We got an email back from MoA!"

He held up ZAG-RS's monitor for all to see. Well. All of several people who were right in front of it, since the monitor wasn't large. Luckily, ZAG read aloud the message for the rest to hear.

"_In response to the petition we've received:_

_Duly noted._

_Big kisses,_

_MoA_"

All of the secondary characters frowned deeply.

"So, bombthreat or rabble?" asked the old lady from the market in _Lockdown_.

"OH, MY GOD, IT'S CHEWING ON MY HEAD," Noah was shrieking, clawing at the pavement in futile efforts to escape Holiday.

Suddenly, Holiday was plucked off by a massive, orange mechanical hand. Another proceeded to wrap a lead bar around her body before setting her on the ground. She snarled, trying to squirm out of her restraints. Then her head spun around and she vomited up green and ended up explosively shitting herself in absolute fury. And everyone loved her for it and praised how that was seriously hardcore badass.

"Wow," Rex observed. He looked to Noah as the other teen brought himself to his feet. "You know, on the way here, I thought I saw a _Swarm_ of entomic Evo headed for Beijing. Guess I was right."

"Rex!" Circe stepped back into the spotlight in attempt to remain somewhat interesting to the audience. "What are you doing here?"

"Oh, hey, Circe. Missed you during the season finale. Seriously, how does no one on the writing staff for this show know how to integrate a main protagonist's love interest?"

"Way to overlook the question, dingus." Bobo appeared as well, rapping a knuckle against Rex's knee. "Ain't you supposed to be crying in your room all emo and traumatized and whatnot?"

Rex shook his head and put his hands on his hips in what he believed to be a triumphant pose. Or something. "I came here to forgive Noah!"

"Hold up- has he even apologized yet?"

They all looked to Noah.

Noah shrugged. "I'm sorry?"

"Accepted!" Rex clapped him on the back. "Even though you've betrayed my trust as my first normal human friend experience for your own benefit, which would've been a lesson to someone else that people are always out for their own gain."

"Score!" Noah said as they slapped a high-five. "This has the be the best friendship I've ever had. Not only do I get to do cool mission things, but I can basically screw with your life and you'd forgive me so long as the show keeps portraying me in a good light."

"You could dubcon me into a nest of bugs that eat the very thing I generate off my body and we'd still be cool," Rex affirmed, beaming. He paused. "But now I feel unfulfilled without something to rage at. First instinct says Van Kleiss, but he hasn't been around. Then again, I wouldn't put that past the illogic of the canon…."

"You can make WK the scapegoat," Pete Volkov suggested. "Since the audience is already aware that he symbolizes The Man and will get portrayed in a bad light most of the time. That way, the protagonist can rebel against his influence without coming off as an infantile cockwad. Which you usually come off as anyway."

"Sounds good," Rex concurred with a shrug. He angrily pointed at WK. "If you get me another rapist friend from online, I'm coming after YOU, White."

"Blue," said Six.

Everyone looked up to where Rex was pointing and Six was looking and saw WK's robot descending. As it got closer, they saw that instead of white, it was blue. As it got even closer, they heard the distinct sound of _jijijuuu_, and knew to expect,

_YO, LISTEN UP, HERE'S A STORY_

The robot landed and when the visor opened, they all could see that the Providence leader's suit was blue as well.

"Hm, well." He surveyed the crowd. "I just came here to show Six, but this works out."

"Blue," said Six.

"That's right! From here on out, I will be known as _**Blue**_** Knight**!"

"I commend this progressional gesture against racism!" exclaimed the black pilot.

Inexplicably, everyone cheered and began to dance. Some would argue that this was necessary in providing imagery of an enlightened mood and happy ending, and that it was a kids' show and shouldn't be expected of much. Others would argue that bullshitting is bullshitting is bullshitting and just because it's a kids' show doesn't mean kids don't deserve just as much effort put into their entertainment. _As if the kids would notice._ **Well, isn't that a degrading sentence if there was one.**

_AND BLUE HIS HOUSE WITH A BLUE LITTLE WINDOW_

In the background of all the commotion, Circe sat down next to Bobo. "You know, for all that build-up and multiple twists, one would think this deserved a more climactic end. But the conclusion got forced out as neatly as possible, and as a result, it feels really cheap."

Bobo offered her one of his extra bananas. "You mean like how the actual show wraps up its episodes?"

"Yeah." She took the banana and they ate bananas together, relishing in their last moments of borderline importance. "Like that."

_I'M BLUE DABADEE DABADAI_

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Knight awoke with start, gasping in terror and looking around himself. Six was sitting next to him. Right. They were in Big Hurt, on transport to the next mission.

Knight shook his partner's shoulder to grab his attention. "Six. Six. What color's my hair?"

Six blinked at him, or whatever his hidden eyes did that was equivalent to a normal person's blink behind those glasses. Seriously, for all anyone else knew, he mixed margaritas back there. Suffice to say, it took him a second before he replied, "Brown." At Knight's sigh of relief, Six then inquired, "Bad dream?"

"More like a what-the-fuck-Wilhelm-I-thought-you-said-that-shit-was-pure dream," Knight answered. "Seriously, that's the last time I buy molly off that pissant. I never hangover this bad."

Six had nothing to contribute, so Knight kept talking.

"Anyway, in my dream, I was the head of Providence, and you were almost-dating Doctor Fell's assistant- and I think you and her had an adopted kid whose real father seemed to be Inspector Gadget, but then the kid got raped and all of this was centered around that talking Evo monkey we have locked in a cage and some scene chick, but there was an assload of other people that I didn't give a couple craps about, too."

Knight paused for a moment in thought before his brow furrowed and he poked Six square on the chest.

"Also, I was on a diet and you sabotaged it. You dick. I thought we were friends."

Six just stared at him with a quirked eyebrow, and Knight relaxed a bit seeing as everything was right in the world again. Except for the fact that people were mutating into nightmarish beasties. But Providence was taking care of that part.

Later that day, however, Six returned to Base with a little kid at his side. Whose name was Rex. Like from Knight's dream.

(-cue Kill Bill killing theme-)

Because like hell was Knight going to let himself end up wearing all-blue.

But we all watched _Promises, Promises_ and know how that trial at child-targeted homicide turned out. And thus…

**011001010110111001100100**


End file.
